This was a cool week.

Everytime I go to prayer, I get blessed. I'm going tomorrow. That's not the only reason why, though. A lot has canged recently. I'm really glad to be back in the community. I've seen a lot of people's lives changes and connect. It's a good thing.

whooo

yeah, when I am upset, but I avoid situations that might have me doing something catastrophic, I am glad when I am done being upset. Imagine what could have happened.

crap

I've really got to call my roommate

I knew it would happen.

Well, I knew but I believed it only about 70% on a good day. Well, no, I believed it all the time, but it was hard not to worry at all.
Well, not much has happened, but it is something, and it is in the right direction.
For the past six months my financial sitation has gotten consistently worse. maybe it has even been worse than that. All the same, I have watched my life wiped out by a wave of debt and sucked away into a subsequent undertow. It was like a chair with no legs, a cart with no wheels, and a small boat on a river headed toward a waterfall with no paddles. I thought this whole time how I needed to use the disaster I brought on myself as an opportunity to grow in faith. so I did. I prayed and I worked diligently toward meeting my increasing need for income. now I have found some small relief. But it is still a relief. I am about 80-90% likely to get a small job. It will not pay much, but it will pay. I also got a disbursement check. That will help a little, too. So now it is as if I have a chair with one leg, a cart with one wheel, and a single, weak paddler against the current. The paddler still doesn't have a chance, the cart still can't move without damaging itself, and the chair is still worthless for sitting on. But if I will stay faithful and acknowledge that, first, there is hope and second, I am not done yet. I must continue in hope for another weak paddler. Two are still not enough to save the boat. Likewise, another leg won't stabilize the chair and another wheel won't mobilize the cart. I will need all four on all points. So I can't give up on the one I have, and I have to get three more, so when I get the last wheel, paddler or leg, I will have a reliable place to sit, a decent little cart and a team of paddlers or even rowers who can reach safety.
I am still in danger and will probably never be able to rest. Sometime having a little hope is less wearying than having none, because the man with no paddle just sits and awaits his death or his small chance of survival. The tired man with one small paddle still can't stop the same fate, only slowing it down, but he can't possibly sit as idly as the first man. He must expend all his futile strength trying, even if it won't help a bit.
The two extremed are easy to handle. Most of the range is easy to handle. When you are powerless, you are without respnsibility. When you are completely adequately equipped, you don't even worry beccause you have four strong paddlers, or even better, rowers who can easily overcome the current and get wherver you want to go. It's just when there is a shorage, the greater the worse. Where there is hope, constantly decreasing, it pulls you along. And you can't give up, because you can make it, if you get a miracle.
I still like this better than being unemployed, though. I'd rather paddle than sit.

Uh, I really like this "For us, the Living"

Although it would be easy to confuse with Rand's "We the Living."
This is the best I have ever seen anyone present a manifesto thinly veiled as a novel. Even if there are many things I disagree with, I like this execution and explanation even better than Rand, Tepper and Butler, my three other philosophical novelist favorites.
The best part so far is the new law for declaration of war. It's even better than the modest proposal I devised a few years ago. My idea was that any congressman who votes in favor of declaring war must be willing to send a son, daughter or other family member into the war. I was thinking about that today and thought that this would require every candidate for a legislative position must, as a qualification for the office, have such a person in mind. So, for example, to run for congress, besides having the age and citizenship requirements, you must also submit the identity of your nearest relative, preferably a direct offspring, who is at the time eligible for conscription. Thus, in the event that you must vote about declaration of war, if you vote in favor, you must be willing to send this young person right away. If, however, you are unwilling or unable to offer kin or any other approved relation for this person, a provision in the law also gives you the option of being able to hold your office but forfeit the right to vote in favor of a war. You can still vote against or withhold your ballot.

I think Heinlein's proposal is equally good and less complicated. War declaring policy stays the same for events in which the country itself is attacked. But if the motion is on the offensive, the people must vote directly on it. And the only people eligible are those who are eligible for the service. All who vote in favor are then automatically the first drafted. The ballot even informs them of where to report the next day. All who don't vote are next, and those who vote against are after that. I thought it was brilliant. Though, at the time Heinlein wrote this, it must have been before the advent of servicewomen because the section on this law had the characters discussing the exclusion of women in the vote.

What I think differs most between his idea and mine is that he took the concept a step further than I did. I thought of it in the context of a system in place, still leaving the decision with the legislature but adding a direct personal sacrifice. It also draws on the value of family and relational ties. The direct vote approach, on the other hand stays with individuals, and may be more reflective on the ways Americans think. It would be more impactful for one of us to volunteer himself than his child, so perhaps the effort to avoid unnecessary war would be more effective that way.

Another extremely socially disruptive law motion would be to protect minorities as well as young people. But that may defeat the purpose of choice.

So it still hasn't changed.

So i'm still unemployed. So I still get mercy. So I still don't panic, so I still keep trying. That's how it goes.

So It's winter Again.

Yes, that means that life is going to be difficult for a while.

The big day

So I am once again greatly encouraged by the onset of school. I have made a lot of effort in a lot of different area, but hopefully something will pay off soon.

School arriving

I get more full of optimistic energy every time I go to a meeting to plan for the coming school year. There is no sense of fatigue or relunctance to get these projects rolling. There are several movements on campus in which I am involved and I have never seen them look stronger.