What if mom sees my blog?

One of the reasons I stopped writing blogs was that I was sick of having my mom reply multiple times to everything I posted, especially that which didn't concern her and especially with replies that themselves had nothing to do with the original post.
Well, I've spent some decent amount of time away from my mother and I suppose now I'm capable of handling all of her weirdness for a short time at least. I think that overwhelming feeling of happiness should help greatly, since I can't possibly tolerate my mother and everything that comes with her on my own.
anyway, the subtopic of greatest concern to me is the fact that neither she nor anyone else in most of my family knows I was raped--or attempted-raped--last march. Now, I published my blog entry about it in two places, including that which she frequents already fully aware of this. I just know she's going to read it and freak out and want to move me to another university again. She's going to assume the role of a concerned parent and she's going to accomplish nothing. She will use me as another excuse to not be able to work, she's going to use the events as an excuse to barge into my life once again.
I also knew full well that I will more likely than not see her on Christmas eve and will probably have a fit of unhappiness. Well, it doesn't matter. She'll probably insist on seeing me once she finds out. She'll probably do all kinds of things. She'll probably tell my dad. I don't care in the least. I do, but I just keep reminding myself that the things my parents do can't hurt me anymore. And what they know doesn't matter.
The truth is, it's about time information busted out in a controversial, confrontational manner. It's about time I confronted my family about a whole bunch of bs that has occurred.
I've actually been praying for a way to reconnect with my mom in a way that might get her saved, since it's a shame to lose family forever just because they hurt me so much so long ago. It would be nice if I could be friends with them. It would be nice if I didn't want to cry whenever I was reminded of my family. It would be nice if I didn't feel a condemning thought whenever I saw a dad giving his daughter away at her wedding. The condemning thought says, "You can never have that."
It would be really nice if my parents were saved. I think I'm reluctant to try to make it happen, because sometimes I feel don't want to be with them forever, that I want them to die and pass into nothing, because they ruined so much of my life when they ruled it. I think I need most to get past those feelings that are centered on me and my sense of having been wronged. I think a lot of people in the world need to do the same.and that;s all I have to say about that.