Not to spend every moment complaining about bad dreams, but this one was really meaningful. You know how when you're awake you can fake everything, but dreams come and show you what's really on your mind? Well in this dream, is was actually worse than the lesbian dream because that dream was completely out of the park. This recent dream, however, in the moments between sleep and full consciousness, seemed possible, and I felt really guilty that I might do such a thing for real.
In the dream I eloped with some guy I had just met and I was really exited because I actually got married. It was awesome, but then as I was about to prepare for the wedding night, I remembered my friend who's been out of town most of the summer. I thought "I should tell him. I should have told everyone. Shoot. Nobody knows." And I felt really bad even in the dream for just running off, and I felt really stupid and compulsive for taking on a total stranger. I thought "If I should be with anyone right now, it's my friend." So I asked to delay everything. I was already disappointed at how unadorned the whole thing was. So yeah, that was my nightmare.
I think the moral was, don't go desperately looking to strangers for fulfillment, when you probably alreadt know the one. Toward the end I was thinking "He comes back tomorrow. I have to stall until tomorrow." I didn't know what I planned to do. I was so regretful. That dream has been haunting me all day. At least I realized some really important things. Well, I'll see my friend tomorrow. I won't tell him about the dream just yet, though. I hope some day I can.
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2 comments:
aww, you dreamed about Rob. I know he's against dating and stuff, but it seems like you really like him. Maybe you should tell him about your dream sooner rather than later.
Well yeah, I should, I just don't know how to bring it up. I didn't actually dream about him but idreamed about thinkingg about him.
Eh. You know I think he likes me. I remember the first time I went to bible study after my makeover and I looked really good and he looked at me totally differently. He looked like "wow!"
And today he was looking at me also. We were both standing in front of the booth and he was having someone fill out the contact card and he was talking to that person about ivcf and he was looking at me. yeah.
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